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I do not want a funeral.

I am not sure when I started to feel this way. I just knew that funerals weren't something that sit well with me. I remember going to my dad's funeral in 1988. I was 13 years old. I couldn't grasp the concept that the person I loved was dead. I thought for many years he picked up, just went and started a new family. I remember hearing this man speak over my father. I was like you didn't know him. I remember feeling this feeling at every funeral I have been to. I just keep looking at someone speaking over the people laying there not knowing them. My family is upset but they have to respect my wishes. I want to be cremated. I do not want a funeral. I want a fun service in a place that serves food, alcohol and play music. I will definitely need a smoking section. I want to go how I lived my life in full party mode. So, when I had to have the conversation with my husband he said fine. I will not be at the party though. I am okay with that because I won't be there either I will be dead.

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